The big fat wedding industry is blissfully untouched by the situationship plague. It is thriving on pastel Canva invites and overpriced buffets. The non-committal brigade might be confused about whether a two-year-long hook-up counts as a relationship, but they sure know which celebrity couple they want to channel at their Bollywood-themed wedding. Brides and grooms of the middle-income economy are taking out debt-spiralling deluxe versions of personal loans for their big day. Welcome to Gen Z weddings.
We have learned nothing from our Millennial cousins. They were killing themselves at their weddings to impress the aunties, and we are doing the same to impress the algorithm. For 20-somethings, the official happily-ever-after day is now a 7-15-second reel with a cinematic drone shot and a hashtag nobody cares about. Not even the bride and groom, trust me. Lavish doesn’t cut it anymore; it has to be viral. Photographers ask for retakes of each ritual for a better shot. The whole thing has to be a social media campaign choreographed by wedding content creators for the day to matter at all. And behold the seriousness—people actually have conference room meetings to decide between roses and marigolds. They even add clips of these meetings to their wedding highlights.
For one, the extravagance at these weddings is much bigger than just fireworks, guns, and roses. One couple in Bhopal made their grand entry to their wedding in a Rolls-Royce and rolled in a truck at their sangeet. Another in Surat had a Multiverse-themed wedding with sky-high metallic pillars and human statues with double pigtails sporting anime characters. The most popular comment on their wedding reel? “Gujjuverse ultra max.”
One bride wanted her wedding venue to look like Venice so bad that she couldn’t be convinced otherwise. Since her parents, in-laws, and fiancé couldn’t afford it, even if they all pooled their money, they offered her a post-wedding trip to the floating city. What they didn’t tell her was that the trip was planned for a year later. Well, now she wants a divorce.
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Maybe going over the top at one’s wedding is all about making the day extra special. The problem is when the result looks more like a school’s annual day or a chaotic concert. Months of rehearsing bridal entries, sister-in-law performances, and best friend numbers still end with everyone forgetting their steps on stage. Hell, brides and grooms even forget the steps to the overused Kiara Advani-Siddharth Malhotra varmala routine.
One couple planned an even trickier routine—and bombed at the main event. The life-sized flowers they were supposed to emerge from didn’t open on time for the groom. The bride stood there awkwardly, cursing the wedding planners, who brushed it off as a “technical glitch.”
Also read: Kalesh in modern dating. How Gen Z is spicing up their relationships
When the penny drops
The wedding-defiled Instagram feeds are proof that everyone is aiming for the moon and blowing up their budgets to get there. The decor is high-class, the lehenga is Sabyasachi (or its knockoff from Chandi Chowk), and the gifts are definitely not dowry. One Delhi-based dude, the owner of two start-ups, now has a new Kia Seltos in his garage because he married his wife. The wedding cost the bride’s parents a cool Rs 90 lakh—excluding the endless gel manicures. The endless photoshoots were longer than the whole wedding. One year and a few thousand miles on the Seltos later, it turns out the groom doesn’t work as a husband. He’s still the best Rajput guy she could find on Shaadi.com.
Don’t worry, we’re not that backward. Caste isn’t the only reason star-crossed lovers tie the knot. Mostly, it’s for love—or to eliminate the possibility of an economical breakup. Many couples just get married for logistical reasons—why pay separate rents if one is practically living in the other’s place? Since doing live-in is too bold, they register for a court marriage, only invite close friends and family and wrap up the whole shebang in one night of heavy partying. These miyas and biwis get raazi, with or without a qazi.
Then there are couples who only marry because their parents can’t stand them just dating. I once saw a bride taking panic attack breaks during her photoshoots because she hadn’t quite processed the idea of living with her boyfriend’s joint family. Everyone just told her, “It’s no big deal.”
I am at that age when all my friends are dropping like wickets—bowled over by holy matrimony. Since I want to stay invited to most of these weddings, I can’t exactly roast them. It’s just that none of them are related to the Ambanis, yet they’re still able to plan 4-9 pre-wedding events, each with 300-1,000 guests. Roka, tilak, engagement, haldi, mehendi, sangeet, cocktail party—who is even keeping score? I’ll be posting candids from every single one.
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