Kalki Koechlin reflects on attending ex-husband Anurag Kashyap’s daughter Aaliyah’s wedding: ‘We did have to give ourselves some boundaries…’

Kalki added that, according to her, it was “normal” to have a common network of people despite not being together. “And even if you can’t talk to that person for some time, which happened after we broke up, we did have to give ourselves some boundaries and be like, I don’t want to see you for sometime…but the others, I kept seeing, and that’s normal, I think,” Kalki said on Aleena Dissects.

Reflecting on this dynamic, Dr Santosh Bangar, senior consultant psychiatrist, Gleneagles Hospitals, Parel, Mumbai, said emotional maturity plays a pivotal role in maintaining respectful relationships even after a breakup or divorce.

“Being present at an ex-partner’s family event tends to reflect a healthy level of emotional growth and the ability to separate personal emotions from shared bonds. Often, couples build strong networks of friends, mentors, or even step-family ties that don’t need to dissolve after separation. So, the couple has to be mature enough to keep aside the differences and understand that relationships can continue to offer support, comfort, and a sense of belonging,” said Dr Bangar.

The psychiatrist mentioned that it is also a sign of self-assurance, knowing you’ve healed enough to honour past connections without conflict. “People tend to outgrow themselves,” said Dr Bangar.

Anurag Kashyap with daughter Aaliyah (Photo: Aaliyah Kashyap/Instagram)

However, it is not easy.

One has to set emotional boundaries, check in with oneself, and avoid situations that might trigger unresolved feelings. “One can remain cordial with the other partner during social events without holding any grudges or bitter feelings. It is necessary to live in the present and let go of the past,” said Dr Bangar.

Carrying the emotional baggage and living in the past will mean “emotional instability and ongoing emotional turmoil”.

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“Being respectful towards each other can strengthen the friendship. Hence, finding peace in shared friendships shows that relationships can evolve, not end, when both individuals choose happiness over bitterness,” said Dr Bangar.